As of last Friday I was diagnosed with Epilepsy. That's why I've been falling like I have. I have Epileptic activity on both the left and right side of my brain, though more in the left side than the right side. The neurologist did not say what lobes are being affected and I didn't think to ask. It IS treatable with medication, I've been on the meds for almost a week now and there's already a huge improvement. Next Wednesday I'm getting an MRI on my brain. Apparently some kinds of brain tumors can present themselves as Epilepsy, though my Neurologist does not believe this is the case she wants to be certain and rule out the possibility of a tumor, which I appreciate.
In one way, this is a good thing. It explains why I've been falling (psychosomatic my ASS) and it is treatable with 4 pills a day. No injections, no surgery, no having my legs amputated in a shady hospital in Russia (yes I still do have that nightmare!) Soon I will move back to the crutch from the walker, and eventually will function like a somewhat normal person.
On the other hand, HOLY FUCK I HAVE EPILEPSY. It's a scary diagnosis even though it's very treatable. Because it means that there is actually something wrong with my brain. And brains are kind of important (or so I've heard). It also means that I cannot drive, ride a bicycle, watch certain TV shows/movies, ride roller coasters, or have children. The last part isn't as big as many would assume considering that we are not planning to have children anyways but it's still... it's... well I don't really know what it is. It just sucks.
I keep going from being relieved to absolutely devastated, but I assume that's part of the process of accepting this new part of my life.
Love,
Mango Kitty
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