55 min.

Waiting for the buss sucks

Miss Mango has a sad

So....
I Dont know how to explain it properly.  I'm just... Sad.

The Blackness

So I've gone back to black and am pretty pleased with actualy.  I feel like my old tree-hugging- goth again!!

In other news, I'm back at the treatment home and  have lost the ability to say simple  a simpel sentans.  Joy.

Love,
Mango Kitty

Röd

Yea so you might have.been blond for a few days... Don't worry, it was.just to get.the old color.out so I could go red.  I Haven't totally lost mind. Well, mostly not at least.
I'm a sad Mango  today. All i seem to be is be confused and trapped.in some kind of dream state.  A state I would very much like to get out of. confusing babel coming out of my mouth ALL the time, I don't know how my Viking has put up with it!
But i have some friends coming over in about an hour, i'm realy looking forward to the visit, hope fully it will change this sad mango into a Happy Mango!
Love,
Mango Kitty

lucky shmuck

I feel kind of crappy today.  Partially because I Always feel crappy, but also because I'm starting to come to realize just how much of an ungrateful schmuck I am.  I came from a very loving family, and though we weren't bathing in lobsters and accordions we always had food on our plate, shoes on our feet LOTS of music in our lives, and a big hug before and after bedtime.  There are so many people out there that are desperation searching for family love, and here I am, a self confessed Daddy's girl, who also has 4 moms, 2 big sisters and 2 nieces and 1 nephew.  PLUS having the love and acceptance of my Vikings' amazing family here in Sweden.  I often feel guilty for having so much when others have so little.  Even with my psychiatric and my physical issues, at least I can get my medication, I still have both my legs, at least I don't have to breath on a respirator, at least I can (most of the time) WALK.  Sometimes you just have to look at things in perspective.  As much emotional and physical pain I may go threw in my life, at least I have clean water, heat, food, and love in my life.

Love,
Mango Kitty

(warning rant ahead)

I'm so sick of all of these problems.  The knee pain I recognize,
but the neck shoulder pain actually feels a bit like after I got a
bulged disk in my lower back at 18.  But more sharp and acute.  It's
been real bad this past week.  (and I'm not that active so the only
way I could have hurt my back is during a fall, but none that I can
think of off the top of my head. (but then again I did get that bulged
disk at 18 standing around with my friends doing nothing physical at
all, so who the hell knows.))

I don't think this has to do with muscles, I think it's something to
the joints, because the pain is so acute and goes over so quickly (it
only hurts when I do the movement, then it is ok again)

According to the Dr I do NOT have anemia at all, and I was informed
that all other blood tests turned out well within the normal range so
there is no need for further blood tests.  Not a word about what to do
now, not a referral, not nothin.  But my feet are still so swollen I
can only wear my sneakers (but not with socks on) and whenever I twist
or tun my foot the skin on it feels like it's on fire.

I'm not really sure what to do at this point, because no one is taking
me seriously and are "hoping I'll just go away".  but I WONT.  Because I
should not have to live like this.  Because "this" SUCKS.

So on Monday I am calling:
Smålandsstenar Clinic - Feet
Värmano Neurologist - Falling
Värnamo Pain Clinic - Joint Pain
Värnamo Hospital Insurance Department (to see if they'll cover the
cost of new glasses sense I broke mine during a fall on their property
(at the treatment home))


Also it might be worth mentioning, that today, I fell on the buss. Not
just ON the buss, but INTO a family sitting in their seats. Not
falling to their FEET you see, but I fell OVER an 8 year old boy and
my hand (trying to keep me off the floor you see) grabbed the fathers
UPPER THIGH. SO embarrassing. NEVER WANT TO LEAVE THE APARTMENT AGAIN

I now ADD to this post. On our way out of the apartment building, dressed
up nice for a goodbye to Nils' sister Marie, I fell down the front
FREAKIN steps full of dirt, grass, cigarette ash and I assume a bit of
spit thrown in there for good measure. SO. NOT. OK.  AAAAAAAAAAAAACH

Love,
Mango Kitty

Duck Lips

I woke up  early (as usual) to aweful pain . My sholders  are killing me much,i almost cried when i went to  get dressed. My legs are no bettter.. Usualyit taked 3-4 tries
before i can get my butt off 'a chair

In other news,    I'm blond again. 

Swedes are not Kosher

 As yo may or not know, I stopped eating meat a while back, as an experiment to see if my falling problems were due to excess animal protein in my diet.  We then found out about the Epilepsy, and that riddle was solved.

So I've decided I*m going to start eating meat again. Now comes the question... Pork/No Pork? I grew up in a kosher home and didn't even taste ham until I was in my teens. And to be honest it's not my favorite type of meat (probably because I didn't grow up with it) But in Sweden pork is HUUUUUUUGE! Everyone eats it, and it is without a doubt the cheapest kind of meat you can buy in Sweden.
Kosher- brings me closer to my family traditions, and religion
Non Kosher- A very happy wallet and cheap protein.
Which do I choose?

 I wish I could just say, Kosher of course!  It doesn't matter how much chicken costs  You should never eat pork!  But in the financial situation that we are in, it's just not that easy.  I have eaten pork before, after I left America, so I know how to prepare it.  And in Sweden it's much harder too find ground beef then it is to find ground "meat" which is a combination of pork and beef.  

I do think I would feel a bit guilty if I started eating pork again, though I highly doubt that God would come down from the heavens and squish me like a slug for doing so.  I choose to believe that God knows I'm doing the best I can with what I have right now, and that when I am in the financial situation to eat other meats beside pork, God would be proud of me for re-kosher-ing myself and for making it out of these tough times.
Well I guess I already have my answer then....  non-kosher till I have the means to be kosher.   or until I get squished like a slug... 

Love,Mango Kitty

Thank you ocean,

For providing us with canned Tuna fish.  otherwise there would be no way to give Indi her medication.  Tried forcing it down and stroking the throat and blowing into the nose, tried covering it with butter, tried wrapping it in chicken skin, we even tried tag-teaming her and she was having NONE of it.  But horrah!  There was tuna fish at home!  Soooo, got the OK from the vet to grind up the pill, mixed it with the tuna, and she'll eat it right off the spoon from my hands.  YES!  And of coarse, Mi-Go gets a spoon of tuna as well, otherwise he would get jealous. 

Indi seems to have a lot more of her "bounce" back, and she is eating and using the litter boxes, but she's beating on Mi-Go more than usual and that concerns me.  But I mean on the other hand, who wants to be chased around and wrestle by your brother when you've got a virus?  Hopefully it will pass,  We have a telephone time with the Vet tomorrow morning, we are really hoping it will be good news.  And if it DOES turn out we have to bring her back to the vet, we're going to ask for a prescription tranquilizer for her in the car... because she is SO BAD at riding in a car.  It's really heart braking to experience.

As for now, I'll be watching the Olympics and try not to psych myself out about the vet call tomorrow.  Hold your thumbs for us!!!

Love,
Mango Kitty