Last week

This will be my last week at the treatment home before they close for summer vacation.  And I am SCARED.  Especially sense I've started falling again.  I'm afraid it will ruin everything.  That I won't be able to ride my bike to get groceries, that I won't be able to go for walks, That I''ll fall down the stairs AGAIN.  It's horrible to live in so much fear.

But I'm going to see a neurologist probably next week to get the result of my EEG.  And if he doesn't know what's going on I'm going to ask for a referral to a different hospital.  And if they don't know what's going on I'll ask for ANOTHER referral, and continue to do so until I get some answers and a treatment plan.  Because I refuse to accept that falling is a part of my life.  I refuse to live in fear of my own body.  I cannot be the ONLY person in Sweden who has these kinds of symptoms.  Even if it's psychosomatic there has to be treatment for it.  And I simply wont stop until I find it, because living this way is just too hard.  It's ruining everything. 

Wish me luck.
Love,
Mango Kitty