staying posotive

2 days till I see the neurologist about my EEG results and I am FREAKIN.  However I'm trying to do enriching things so I don't just cry on the sofa all the time.  Which I pretty much do anyways, but moving on...

My phone is dying so I have to send it in for repair, however when you send it in you have to send the receipt for it, which I could not find to save my life.  But today I gathered the courage to call them and ask them to send me a copy which they're doing and it will all work out fine.  few!

Obviously living on the third floor is not working anymore as I've already fallen down those fucking stairs once, and Monday I fell 12 TWELVE times.  Having the walker helps, but I can't have both hands on it at all times inside the apartment.  It's just not possible.  So I called the company we rent from and explained that I have a medical condition which makes me fall and the stairs are too dangerous, and we are now waiting for a ground floor apartment to become available.  She said as soon as something opens up she'll give me a call. few!

It feels like I'm finely getting this weight/stomach thing under control.  I've stopped eating meat and most dairy, in addition to the no gluten or lactose, paying attention to portion size, eating more often, and MOVING.  today I walked for an hour! ME!  AN HOUR!!!  But it's paying off, in the month of June I've lost 7 kilograms.  Un.freaking.believable.  I'm more than a little proud of myself I must say.  few!

And today I actually painted, for the first time in... well, forever it seems like.  I can tell that I'm out of practice and desperately need new paints, but it was fun, and I think it turned out rather well.  It's a gift for someone dear to me, so once said person receives it I'll post a picture. few!

Now I am TIRED and fully intend to spend the rest of my evening on the couch.  Hopefully not crying ;)

Love,
Mango Kitty

It's not all bad

 So I've figured out a way to style my hair that I think actually looks pretty cool.  Guess life's not all bad.  Mi-Go agrees.

 Now off to do laundry and clean a bit.  Very slowly.  And with a walker.  That's right folks, she falls so much she has a walker now.  Woo.

Love,
Mango Kitty

by request

Because it will make my mom laugh, here are pictures of my "interesting" hair.  Enjoy.

Love,
Mango Kitty

Hair Grows Back

oh man...
Hair grows back...
And it's better to cut your hair than to do more permanent damage to yourself....
but oh man...
Usually I can pull off cutting my own hair...  This time I did NOT.   But it's ok, it's just hair, it grows back, and my hair grows really fast.  So it's ok.

Good thing I own awesome hats...

Love,
Mango Kitty

Midsommer

Happy Midsommer to all my crazy Swedes, Hope you all enjoy the longest day of the year!
the cats are choosing to celebrate by sleeping in, shocking I know...
My Viking and I are staying home this year, and celebrating with moose and... well... not much else...  But it will still be nice to have each others company :)  I'm officially home for the 8 week summer vacation at the treatment home, I'll return to V-.town in August, but in the meanwhile I'm going to get as much Viking/Monster time in as I can. <3

Love,
Mango Kitty

Last week

This will be my last week at the treatment home before they close for summer vacation.  And I am SCARED.  Especially sense I've started falling again.  I'm afraid it will ruin everything.  That I won't be able to ride my bike to get groceries, that I won't be able to go for walks, That I''ll fall down the stairs AGAIN.  It's horrible to live in so much fear.

But I'm going to see a neurologist probably next week to get the result of my EEG.  And if he doesn't know what's going on I'm going to ask for a referral to a different hospital.  And if they don't know what's going on I'll ask for ANOTHER referral, and continue to do so until I get some answers and a treatment plan.  Because I refuse to accept that falling is a part of my life.  I refuse to live in fear of my own body.  I cannot be the ONLY person in Sweden who has these kinds of symptoms.  Even if it's psychosomatic there has to be treatment for it.  And I simply wont stop until I find it, because living this way is just too hard.  It's ruining everything. 

Wish me luck.
Love,
Mango Kitty

wow...

I really don't have a single positive thing to say today...

Flowers

Today i cleaned the back porch at the Treatment Home. A few weeks ago i made flower arangments for it but forgot to put up pictures. As we actualy have SUN today I decided to take some pictures with my phone. I'm rather pleased with how the porch turned out, it's cozy out there now.

Love,
Mango Kitty

Opposit day

That's right folks it's opposit day which means blond dreads andnothing to do! I'm happy about it because yesterday was way too intense so today i get to recover a bit and work on my cross stitching. Now i'm on a quest to find gum.

Love,
Mango Kitty

Too Much Laundry!

There's just.... there's just too... much.... laundry...

::dies of laundry overexposure::

My Viking has cut me off. Finish the load that's in the washer and call it a day.  I of coarse am overdoing it and obsessing about how much more stuff that I honestly don't really need to get done today. 

But there's still stuff to do!!!
Like Laundry!!!

Ok, STOP IT!

I'll go to my quiet place now...
Love,
Mango Kitty

The stomach... She LIVES!!!

I'm happy to report that the tummy is feeling much better, and I've gone the official 48 hours without puking so I'm now allowed to rejoin society.  yay for me.  The withdrawal symptoms continue but frankly, as long as I aint pukin I'll take 'em!

The next two weeks are going to be big ones for me, I'll have to figure out what I'm going to do over the summer in order to not isolate myself and keep my mental health on track.  And then I'll have to cope with leaving the safety of the treatment home over the summer.  I did speak to my therapist today over the phone (even though I missed our meeting I wanted to have some contact with her before her summer vacation) and she is under the impression that I will return to the treatment home when they re-open in the fall, though the Dr. will have the final say.  I don't know how I feel about this, while I know it will probably be a good thing it's very very bittersweet.  But like my Dad said, we'll see how the next three months go and take it from there.  No one can know how I'll feel in September now.  But it's me so of corse I'm obsessing about it.

We've got a three day plan to systematically clean the apartment.  Tomorrow I'm on Laundry duty and am looking forward to clean socks.  My Viking will do as much as my Viking will do, but between the two of us we should be able to kick this place into shape!  Just in time for me to leave.  woo.

Love,
Mango Kitty

the stomach death

Yea so it's definitely the stomach flue..  Started on Saturday and just keeps getting worse.  Puked 4 times before noon today.  w00t w00t :(

As well as me feeling like total and utter crap, it means I can't go back to the home at all this week due to the risk of me spreading the stomach death to other people there.  On one hand yes it IS nice to just crash on the couch at home with the cats and ignore the world, but on the other hand if I did well being at home every day than I wouldn't go to the treatment home in the first place.  It's a double edged puke bucket my friends, and it's full of goo.

I'm even less impressed by me not being at the treatment home at all this week due to the fact that they freaking close right before Midsummer...  I missed my big meeting to decide what I'll be doing over the summer, though I've heard rummer that they want me to put screws in boxes with old people and pay buss fair to  "socialize" with them.  Miss Mango is unimpressed yet again.  oh well, I guess we'll see what happens next week.

Love,
Mango Kitty

home sick

Guess what time it is folks!  It's Miss Mango Kitty's Medication Withdrawal Time!!!  Fucking hell this is not fun. In addition to headache, muscle pain, cold sweating, and exhaustion, I've been throwing up.  Woo! SO I'm supposed to go back to the home today like I usually do on Sundays but I'm not due to the risk that it's actually the stomach flue and not just withdrawals.  I get what they're thinking but it's kind of a pain in the ass.  I'm supposed to have a BIG meeting tomorrow to decide what I'll be doing over the summer when the treatment home closes.  We'll just have to reschedule but i'm not so happy about the situation because the home closes in like, 3 weeks.  Not that much time to reschedule in.  I'm going to call them in the morning and we'll see how I'm  feeling and if I can go back tomorrow.

As of right now I'm fighting with the cats (one black cat in particular) and waiting for my Viking to come home and take care of me.

Bleh...

Love,
Mango Kitty

mmmmm yaaaarn...

I definitely just pulled out almost a foot of yarn from Indi's mouth/stomach.  So THAT'S where all my yarn has been disappearing!  It's not only Mi-Go who causes trouble it seems.    eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew...

At any rate it's good to be home for the weekend even if I do get to go threw medication withdrawals AGAIN.  At least I know what it is and what to expect this time.  Doesn't make it suck any less though.  Hot/Cold sweating, pounding headache, overall muscle pain and a very angry tummy.  Such is the life of an medicated zombie.  If you don't mind, I'm going to go put on my pajamas and collapse on the couch now thank you.

Oh yea, On the way home from V-town we saw snow.  SNOW!  ON THE FIRST OF JUNE!  WHAT THE FUCK!!!

Love,
Mango Kitty