still alive

today I'm home at Ammi's on permition. Too many stairs up to my own, usch it feels horrable to type it but it's true. I can't go up those stairs. But I'm working with my physical therapist to overcome that obstacle. it's a relief to be out of the hospital, but it's scary and a little bit overwhelming to be outside of the ward. I counted my pills last night. 12 pills. 12.

Then I counted my pills this morning. 13 pills. plus two pills at 14.00. THAT'S 27 PILLS A DAY!. Usch the worst part about it is that i know that I need them. Tomorrow I head back to the ward.

joy.

In other news.... HAPPY BIRTHDAY IMA!!!

Love,

MangoKitty

Don't Carry It All

The Decemberists:

Don't Carry It All :

Here we come to a turning of the season,
witness to the arc towards the sun,
the neighbors blessed burden within reason,
becomes a burden borne of all in one,
but nobody nobody knows,
let the yoke fall from our shoulders,
don't carry it all don't carry it all,
we are all our hands in holders,
but meet this bold and brilliant sun,
but this I swear to all

A monument to build beneath the arbors,
upon a cliff the that towers towards the trees,
but every vessel pitching hard to starboard,
lay it's head on summers freckled knees,
and nobody nobody knows,
let the yoke fall from our shoulders,
don't carry it all don't carry it all,
we are all our hands in holders,
beneath this bold and brilliant sun,
this I swear to all, this I swear to all

Buried wreath of trillium and ivy,
laid upon the body of the boy,
lazy will the long come from it's hiding,
return his quiet certitude to the soil,
so raise a glass to turnings of the season,
and watch it as it arcs towards the sun,
and you must bear your neighbors burden within reason,
and your labors will be borne when all is done, and nobody nobody knows,
let the yoke fall from our shoulders,
don't carry it all don't carry it all,
we are all our hands in holders,
beneath this bold and brilliant sun

and this I swear to all
and this I swear to all
and this I swear to all

to all
to all
to all

Cant get this out of my head

Love,
Mango Kitty

duel personality

I have never felt as incapable as I do now. My entire professional support system is either not doing what they're supposed or, or are simply not there. I'm reaching my limit. Something has to change. Seriously. Fast.

I now have short blond hair. Yes it's true, I said short BLOND hair. But I am a girl who needs options, which is why I also have long blond hair. Let's have a vote, which do you prefer?


>

Love,
Mango Kitty

hush...

I really don't know what to say...

I'm conducting a scientific experiment to see if the world will come to an end if I go blond. So far, no exploding planet so we're safe for now. I also chopped off a good amount of hair last night, and am actually kind of pleased with it. I even got a "it looks better than I expected" from my Viking and that's really good coming from him!

I'm home alone today so the plan is knit knit knit and black and a white movie marathon. The pheramon treatment still hasn't come, but there have been moments, very brief moments, but moments non the less, where the monsters choose to be around each other, so there is hope!




Love,
Mango Kitty